When Did You First See Signs? Age 2
Signs of Mental Health Disorders in Small Children
The first blog post is an official evaluation from Early Childhood Intervention from when my daughter was 2 1/2, the second I wrote a couple months later.
PROGRESS REPORT
For those of you who are fascinated by technicalities of evaluations and therapy, like I am, this post is for you. This is a summery of Rose’s latest evaluation.
Behavior:
- Little use of social behaviors such as greetings or sharing
- 3 minute attention span
- If more than one toy available for play — she struggles to choose and becomes upset
- Is upset when asked to share
- Throws toys when finished
- Throws things at therapist instead of verbalizing her needs
- Noises outside room distract her
- Strikes the therapist when doesn’t want to participate in planned activity
THE ONLY THING TO FEAR IS …
The only thing to fear is fear itself … or balloons, or rubber duckies, or sponges, or colored noodles, or nail polish, or bubbles …
The first time we saw it, we laughed. It was Rose’s first birthday, and I was blowing up balloons — she shrieked in horror and ran away. Call me cruel, but I laughed when she ran as fast as she could away from the balloons and stared at them as if they may attack her at any moment.
She had a rubber duckie birthday party, so I was surprised a month later when I got a cute rubber duckie with a boa and princess crown for her and instead of squealing with delight she ran the other direction crying. The duckie sat in the middle of the living room; Rose never took her eyes off of it as she skirted the edges of the wall to navigate her way around it.
Then there was the time I picked up a packet of the sponge animals that grow in water. “Won’t Rose love these,” I thought. Andres put them in water and as they grew Rose’s eyes grew too and became cloudy. She began screaming, and ran into my arms to save her. Andres picked one up and said, “See, it won’t hurt you.” She squeezed my neck tighter and buried her head in my chest. Andres placed the sponges on the border of his bedroom door and Rose would not even think twice about entering his room. Smart boy.
We never know what will trigger her fear. This week we’ve experience three phobia triggers. That’s a lot for a week.
We had a family Valentines Party. I made a sensory box for the toddlers. I colored spaghetti noodles with red food coloring added a few pink and red toys, spoons and measuring cups. The boys loved it. Rose touched it and ran away shaking her head. She wouldn’t come into the kitchen until I removed the sensory box.
Rose brought me nail polish, which in the past she has been fearful of. I was surprised when she indicated she wanted me to put it on her. She sat perfectly still as I painted one set of toenails green and the other five piggies blue. I told her to sit still as they dried. She giggled as I blew on her toes. Mission accomplished. I should have been filming for “America’s Funniest Videos” when Rose proceeded to kick her feet trying to fling the color off her toes. She stomped and tried to brush the color off with her hands all while screaming at the top of her lungs. If you have ever seen someone try to sling their toes away from themselves, you’d have to admit it’s worth the $100,000 grand prize.
Rose loves bath time, so I made a special Valentines Bath. Pink food coloring, bubble bath, foam hearts and silk rose peddles were added to the tub along with bathtub paints. I put Rose in the tub. She froze. Fear crept into her eyes, and she started crying. Why? She’s played with paint in the tub. She’s had colored water. She loves playing with the foam shapes. I picked up some bubbles in my hands, she cried more. The bubbles. She’s scared of the bubbles.
At face value, each incident is funny. It’s funny to be frightened by such trivial things, isn’t it? We’ve all laughed at the absurdity. But who wants their little girl to be frightened of the world? It is a mom’s job to protect their child and make her feel secure. I fail time, and time again. It is impossible to avoid an unknown trigger.
I’m going to get technical on you now — hang tight.
I remember when Rose was little and having screaming fits (which she still has — less often but more violent). Her geneticist told me it was possible that the part of her brain that allows her to self-regulate, may not have developed properly in vitro. This week I was reading a book on how children’s brains developed (that’s what the nerdy me does for fun) — and it clicked.
The book explained that if the mother is anxiety-ridden or in great stress while pregnant, her body sends out stress hormones and set patterns for her developing fetus’s brain “that ‘wire’ the unborn child for this automatic defense response diminishing the functioning of the high brain … (The brain in the unborn child than is geared towards) protection and defense, rather than being free to move toward intellectual curiosity and exploration”(Oppenheimer). Since Rose’s mom was bipolar, and was prone to outburst of rage, is it possible that Rose’s brain is wired for defensiveness — she sees things differently than I do? — No specialist’s evaluation, just a mom in deep thought.
The geneticist says that after Rose turns three she can send her to behavior specialists who can help us teach Rose to deal with some of her issues. I hope the fears are a part of that. It’s unthinkable to have her go through life with possible fears creeping around every corner.
Since Princess Rose can not fight the fear dragon herself, it’s up to me, her mom to be her knight in shining armor and fight the demons for her. So I’ll duel with balloons, banish over-dressed duckies, exterminate sponges, discard colored noodles, cover piggies with socks, and scoop bath bubbles from the tub into the toilet (does this double as cleaning the toilet?).
So Princess Rose can play unfearfully ever after.
Update: Although her geneticist recommended testing at age 3, I made hundreds of calls (literally) and no one would test her until the age of 5. Then she was tested by a private psychiatrist who did not take our insurance. Because we could not afford the $250 a month psychiatrist appointment, we tried to switch to someone who took our insurance. The two major children’s hospitals, and all their subsidiaries refused to see her because she had already been seen by a private practitioner. After another two year search, we found an in-network psychiatrist, who promptly put her into a 6 week intensive outpatient hospital and started her on medication for the first time. Even in a metroplex of 7 million, finding help for a child with mental health issues is difficult, time consuming, and expensive.
When to see a doctor about your child’s anxiety?
Fear and anxiety are normal parts of childhood — separation anxiety from mom and dad, fear of the dark, anxiety over school tests. When a child exhibits lasting and consistent fear that disrupts normal life activities in more than one setting (home, church, school, etc) — the child should be seen by the doctor.
