Feeding the Dragon
Gaming Addiction in Children with Mental Health Disorders
Rose loves her dragon. It breathes fire into her soul, fries her brain, and destroys her freedom. It fits in the palm of her hands, yet it controls her thoughts, friendships, emotions, and behaviors. The dragon that took over her life is a phone —
My ten-year-old is a internet gaming addict.
I’ll admit, I liked her dragon; fed it daily. When she was playing with it she wasn’t following me around the house begging me to buy her a new toy; I could talk in complete sentences on the phone without being interrupted; I didn’t have to pause and rewind my favorite tv show 20 times; I could eat at a restaurant without the embarrassment of a no-longer-a-toddler temper tantrum. It was easy to tell her to play with her dragon when I wanted to do something. It was also what I used for discipline.
“If you pick up your room you get phone time.”
“If you yell at me one more time, there will be no phone.”
With Covid’s social isolation, her internet gaming was the only break I ever got.
I realized it was a problem — both hers and mine — long before I labeled it an addiction. I knew she should be drawing, or riding her bike, or creating LOL Surprise Doll furniture with Legos — but instead, her eyes were fixed on a five inch dragon.
My husband and I decided to put limits on phone time. Three hours a day. That’s a long time! We justified it by breaking it up -one hour between breakfast and lunch, one between lunch and dinner, and one between dinner and bedtime, and extra time for road trips or restaurant meals. I’d still get little breaks every day, and the dragon would loose some control. Boy — was I wrong!
The time limits worsened her behaviors. One night, she woke us up at 2:00 a.m. asking if it was her morning phone time yet.
“No.”
“When?”
“8:00”
“How long is that?”
“Six hours.”
We went back to sleep to be awoken an hour later, “Is it time yet?”
“No! Go back to sleep.”
“Can I use the phone at 6:00?”
“Yeah, sure, go to bed.”
A half hour later, “Mommy! Daddy! Can I use the phone at 5:00?”
“GO BACK TO BED OR YOU WILL NEVER USE THE PHONE AGAIN!”
Another time, we planned a playdate with Rose’s best friend who we hadn’t seen since the Covid lock-down began. We met up at a swimming pool. Instead of splashing and pretending to be a mermaid, she sat on a lawn chair and pet her dragon . Her friend was upset that Rose preferred her dragon— but Rose just suggested her friend come pet it. The dragon had stolen her friendship.
More than once, we caught her disobeying the phone rules: sneaking the phone into her room; hiding it under her pillow; playing it in the locked bathroom or under her unicorn comforter.
She began bargaining for phone time.
“I’ll be quiet while you’re watching tv— if you let me play on the phone.”
“I’ll pick up my toys if I can have the phone.”
“I already had an hour this morning, but can I use my afternoon hour now instead of waiting til after lunch?”
Or, “I’m really sad today, and it’s the only thing that will make me happy.”
When we didn’t give in, she gouged her arms and legs with her fingernails until blood flowed from the self-inflicted wounds.
Her unrelenting love for her dragon made me realize that this was not simply a fun pastime, but a full out addiction. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) lists Internet Gaming Addiction (IGA) as a mental disorder, and The World Health Organization added “Gaming Disorder” to the 2018 version of its medical reference book, International Classification of Diseases. Both list similar characteristics, all of which Rose displayed.
- Thinking about gaming all or a lot of the time
- Feeling bad when you can’t play
- Needing to spend more and more time playing to feel good
- Not being able to quit or even play less
- Not wanting to do other things that you used to like
- Having problems at work, school, or home because of your gaming
- Lying to people close to you about how much time you spend playing
- Using gaming to ease bad moods and feelings
I could see that playing electronic games caused and/or worsened already diagnosed mental health disorders, but what I didn’t know was that kids who have mental health disorders are susceptible to addiction. A recent study found that children diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety disorders are significantly more prone to internet addiction than their peers.
The study concluded that having ADHD is the most significant risk factor for developing Internet Addiction. The very way the ADHD brain functions might explain this. For example, on-line games offer rapid response, immediate reward, and multiple windows with different activities which reduces the feelings of boredom and the aversion to delayed gratification that those with ADHD often feel. There are also physical elements to the addiction. The dopamine (a hormone that makes us feel happy)that is released by playing the game replenishes that which is lacking in the ADHD brain.
The study also indicates that children with anxiety disorders are more likely to become addicted to internet games, especially those with social phobias. On-line games provide social support without causing the stress associated with face-to-face interactions. If friends are hard to come by in the real world but your avatar makes friends easily, the risk of addiction increases.
Seeing as Rose has been diagnosed with both ADHD and an anxiety disorder, it’s not surprising that she is also an addict. If I had known what I know now, I would not have allowed her dragon to babysit while I enjoyed a few stress-free minutes (or hours).
But I refuse to let the dragon win — I hope that sharing my experience and knowledge will help you tame the dragon before he gets loose in your home.
- Continue Reading what detoxing from Internet Gaming Addiction looks like in a ten-year-old in “Killing the Dragon”
APA References
Video Game Addiction. WebMD Medical Reference Reviewed by Melinda Ratini, DO, MS on March 19, 2019, Retrieved on 2020,September 11 from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/video-game-addiction#1
Ko CH, Yen JY, Chen CS, Yeh YC, Yen CF. Predictive values of psychiatric symptoms for internet addiction in adolescents: a 2-year prospective study. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2009;163(10):937–943. doi:10.1001/archpediatrics.2009.159. Retrieved on 2020, September11 from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19805713/ https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/382237
