6 Ways to Minister to Someone Who is Depressed

6 min readSep 13, 2021

People get depressed. A lot of people. In fact, from July 21 — August 2, 2021, around 22% of US adults reported symptoms of depressive disorder. That’s one of every 4 or 5 people. I can guarantee you that someone you know is experiencing depression. So how can you help?

July 21 — August 2, 2021, around 22% of US adults reported symptoms of depressive disorder

As Christians, created in God’s image and designed to display God’s character in all we say and do, there is no better guide book in “How to Help Depressed Friends” than looking at how God dealt with depression in his loved one.

In 1 Kings 19, we read about Elijah, and how he became depressed. He had just challenged the false prophets of the day to a praying contest. He won — because his God, our God, is the only true God who hears and responds to His people. Elijah then killed all the false prophets, which made the Queen mad. She threatened to kill him. He was scared and ran for his life.

He ran into the wilderness, and cried out to God that he couldn’t take anymore and wanted to die. He curled up in a ball and just wanted to sleep. He didn’t eat, he just wanted to sleep. Later in the chapter he said he was all alone and there was no one like him. Sound familiar?

Symptoms of depression include (but are not limited to):

Sad, anxious or “empty” mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling “slowed down”
Oversleeping
Low appetite
Feeling all alone
Thoughts of death or suicide

Elijah was clearly depressed. So what did God do?

First of all, let’s talk about what God didn’t do. He didn’t tell Elijah to suck it up because life isn’t fair. He didn’t tell Elijah that if he really had faith in Him he wouldn’t be depressed. He didn’t tell Elijah to think happy thoughts, to go serve others, or to just get over it.

God sent an angel to minister to Elijah. The angel touched Elijah and said, “You need to eat” and provided warm cake and water. Elijah ate, then went right back into his fetal position on the ground, still wanting nothing but sleep. The angel touched him again and said, “Get up and eat, because you are going on a trip and you need food.” Elijah did.

Then God led Elijah on a 40 day journey. At the end of the journey, God spoke to him. He asked him, “Hey, what’s up? Why are you here?” Elijah told him and God listened. Then God made His presence known to Elijah. Elijah stood in the presence of God, then continued to complain about his trouble to God. Again God listened, then he told Elijah he wasn’t alone. God had appointed someone to help him in his ministry, and there were 7,000 others who still stood with Elijah in following God.

The story has a happy ending. Elijah seems to come out of his depression. He finds his helper and together they continue prophesying for God.

6 ways We Can Help Someone With Depression:

Touch them

The first thing the angel did was touch Elijah.

Scientifically, physical touch increases a person’s oxytocin, the “feel good” hormone, which generates positive thinking and feelings. Dopamine and serotonin are also increased. Dopamine regulates the pleasure center in the brain, and serotonin regulates your mood. So, research has shown that those with depression can be helped with physical touch.

Spiritually, we read throughout the gospels how Jesus healed people by touching them. Jesus is the Great Healer, he could just speak and sickness and depression would be gone, and sometimes he did, but more often he touched the person he was healing.

We can help loved ones suffering from depression by touching them, whether that is a hand on the shoulder, holding their hand, or a big bear hug.

Meet Their Physical Needs

The angel fed Elijah.

We can help by meeting physical needs. Bring them dinner. Clean their house. Mow their yard. Babysit their kids. When someone is curled up in bed hiding under the blankets, it is not ok to just say, “I’m praying for you.” Do something!

Allow time and Continue to Serve Them

Elijah spent 40 days and 40 nights traveling to where God wanted him to be in order to finally reach Him and heal his depression.

We can’t expect people to just “snap out of it.” Depression takes time. That time will be different for each individual.

The angel brought food a second time.

We need to continue meeting our loved one’s needs, no matter how long it takes. Dropping off a casserole one time may make us feel good that we are doing something, but it does not let the person we are ministering know that we are there for the long haul. How many warm cakes should we bake? As many as are needed to provide strength for the recovery journey.

Lead Them into the Presence of God

After his 40 day journey, Elijah settled into a cave where God met him and blessed him with His presence.

There is nothing more important in healing depression than the presence of God. God is the Comforter, the Prince of Peace, and the Great Healer. There is no true healing from depression that comes apart from Him. All the casseroles in the world can not “fix” someone with depression.

Therefore, there is nothing we can do for a friend that is more important than leading them into the presence of God. We can do this through personal prayer and intercession, praying over and with the friend, sharing the gospel, and discipling them in the Word of God.

Ask and Listen

God asked Elijah to tell him what was wrong. And then God listened to him. Twice. Even after Elijah experienced the presence of God, he relayed all the same feelings and thoughts. God continued to listen and further encouraged him.

There are two applications for us in this one. First, we can ask what is wrong and listen. More than once. However many times it takes. Secondly, we can encourage our friend to talk to God. Reassure them that God listens, cares, and responds.

Let them know they aren’t alone

God gave Elijah someone to walk beside him, and revealed that there were many like him — he was not alone.

God did not create us to do life alone. In fact, after each day of creation, God said, “It is good.” The first time God says otherwise is “It is not good for man to be alone.” God’s comment refers to way more than a spouse. The words “one another” appears 100 times in the New Testament. Obviously, community with others is important to God.

God created us to be connected to others. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, community brings about belonging, support, and purpose. All of which are instrumental in our mental health.

When someone we know is depressed, it is important to connect them with others. Remind them that they aren’t alone. There are others who feel like they do, and there are those who want to walk this journey alongside them. Connect them with support groups,a Christian community, and people to disciple and help them. Life was meant to be lived in community.

We all know someone who is depressed. Sometimes, we feel helpless in knowing how to help. Praise God that He provided an example for us to follow in His Word.

*If the person you are ministering to has any of these symptoms, take them to get professional help:

Depression lasts more than 2 weeks
Depression is seriously interfering with their ability to “do life”: work, family, social life
If they are Contemplating or Planning to Commit Suicide — seek immediate help